Monday, December 31, 2007
Few More Minutes To Go
.....and it's going to be the 2008....it's happy new year everyone. I hope that you all have a great new year. Let be there joy and happiness always and most of all good health. From our family to your we wish you a happy new year. Let's thanks God for the great time we had during the 2007 and now let's welcome all the good and bad thing that the 2008 will bring to us. I am sure there's alot of surprises for this year. Happy New Year To All.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Happy New Year Everyone
Another celebration is here and it's the Happy New Year.... Are you all ready for the new year? hmmmmmm I think we all are....Another year is about to come.....Happy New Year to all of your...May your New Year be full of love, joy and happines...Thanks for visiting my blog and you all have a great New Year.....Thank and Take care.....
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Better White It Down....
This joke is just hilarious....I found this online and just can't stop laughing to it ehhehehhehe...Enjoy everyone and have a great day.....
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.
The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that."
She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.
The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said, "No, I can remember that."
She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"
Here's Some Classic Jokes
.....for you that I found online today...I thought this jokes was just funny... I love reading jokes and I am happy to share this great one that I found......So here it is....
A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"
Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."
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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking."
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There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them "Ok, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in."
So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out "Bananas!" and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out "Money!" and lands in a pile of money. The third guy jumps, when a bird shits on his head, and he yells "Oh Shit!"
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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
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A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."
A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"
Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."
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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "Well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking."
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There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them "Ok, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in."
So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a vegetarian, yells out "Bananas!" and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yelled out "Money!" and lands in a pile of money. The third guy jumps, when a bird shits on his head, and he yells "Oh Shit!"
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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
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A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
The Swimmer
Here's some funny joke that I found online today. I thought it's pretty funny.....
Once there was a millionaire who had a collection of live alligators. He kept them in a pool at the back of his mansion.
The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, he decides to throw a huge party.
During the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"
As soon as he finishes his last word, there is the sound of a large splash.
The guests all turn to see a man in the pool swimming as fast as he can. They cheer him on as he keeps stroking.
Finally, the swimming man makes it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire is so impressed, he says, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?"
The man says, "Listen, I don't want your money. I don't want your daughter, either. I want the person who pushed me in that water!"
Once there was a millionaire who had a collection of live alligators. He kept them in a pool at the back of his mansion.
The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, he decides to throw a huge party.
During the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!"
As soon as he finishes his last word, there is the sound of a large splash.
The guests all turn to see a man in the pool swimming as fast as he can. They cheer him on as he keeps stroking.
Finally, the swimming man makes it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire is so impressed, he says, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?"
The man says, "Listen, I don't want your money. I don't want your daughter, either. I want the person who pushed me in that water!"
Monday, December 24, 2007
What I have Been Doing?
....Well I have been taking pictures of my self about 4 hours ago....yeah yeah yeah I know I have a bunch already but this is my christmas picture. Later I have to take pictures of me and my daveh so we have a family picture. How I wish my family back home are here too but I know they're having fun there too. Today my grandparents will be there in the house and some family member of my mom's family. They usually spend Chrismtas with my mom's parents, then her brother and sister. So I can't wait to see some pictures from them. Alright until here take care everyone and merry christmas.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
How Long Is My Hair?
This is how long is my hair now...I took this pictures two days ago and thought it would be cool to have new photo of my hair to see how long it is now since the last time I have it trim. I love my hair and I'm trying to take care of it. I sometimes tempted to cut it though, but I know I will regret it, so I better not. This is the second time that I have my hair this long, back when I was in my high school my hair was this long and I cut it for some reason. Don't ask what was the reason because it was really silly hehehehhehe. Anyway, have fun everyone and Merry Christmas....
Friday, December 21, 2007
Wear Hat When You Go Out
Yeah never walked around near them, cause they sure will give you something that you won't forget. I've seen this happen before when I went in San Francisco for vacation it was kinda funny, well it's because the person that got drop with some sh*t was laughing to death and so his friends.Also some advice if you go for walking make sure that birds don't see what's on your hands too. Cause if they'll noticed that you some food they'll chase you more hahahahhahaha.
I feel sorry for this kid he sure look sad, trying to get away from this bird ehheheheheh. Anyway, how are yo all doing? I hope your day is wonderful just like mine. Thanks for you visit and I hope you enjoy your stay here. I really appreciate your time and visit. Thanks and happy holidays everyone.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
The Wife
Here's some Joke for you all. How are you doing? I hope you all doing great like me. Tonight here in Texas the weather is very nice and I'm loving it. I know some places right now is freezing cold. Anyway, thanks for visiting in my blog I hope you enjoy your visit here.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.
"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"He said you're going to die," she replied.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Thank God You Are My Friend
Monday, December 17, 2007
Hello Everyone
How are you all doing? Thank you all for always visiting in my blog. I really appreciate your time being here. By the way, on this blog you will different jokes, that I found online. Yeah I like surfing online for a jokes, and each time I found something really funny. I always want to share it in here so I hope your having fun reading all of them. Anyway, today is just an ok day for me. It's kinda cold outside today, thank God I don't have to out and work hehehehhe. I don't like being in a cold sometimes too. I'd rather be in the hot warm place than in the cold hahahhaha. So anyway, have fun everyone and thanks for visiting me again.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
The Bar Joke
Two men are sitting at a bar, slowly sipping their drinks.
After a while, the first man approaches the other man, and sits next to him. "This place is great, isn't it?" he asks.
The second man, somewhat surprised at the stranger's remark, replies, "Why do you say that?"
The first man, in a low tone of voice, responds, "Follow me." The two of them walk over to a large window at the end of the room. The window faces out onto the street, 12 floors below.
"Here's why." The first man throws open the window, and boldly steps out into thin air. But he remains aloft!
"The air currents are great here!" he exclaims. "It's very relaxing."
He floats back into the room. As his feet return to the bar-room floor, he invites the second man to try it.
The second man, skeptical, peers out through the window - down to the pavement twelve stories below. He looks to either side, and finally up above, to see if there was anything holding the first man up.
Convinced that it was no trickery, the second man swallows, closes his eyes, and steps out into thin air. He promptly falls twelve stories to the pavement below.
The first man grins and returns to the bar. Looking rather irritated, the barkeep comes over to the place where the man sits.
"You know," he says, disgusted. "You're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
After a while, the first man approaches the other man, and sits next to him. "This place is great, isn't it?" he asks.
The second man, somewhat surprised at the stranger's remark, replies, "Why do you say that?"
The first man, in a low tone of voice, responds, "Follow me." The two of them walk over to a large window at the end of the room. The window faces out onto the street, 12 floors below.
"Here's why." The first man throws open the window, and boldly steps out into thin air. But he remains aloft!
"The air currents are great here!" he exclaims. "It's very relaxing."
He floats back into the room. As his feet return to the bar-room floor, he invites the second man to try it.
The second man, skeptical, peers out through the window - down to the pavement twelve stories below. He looks to either side, and finally up above, to see if there was anything holding the first man up.
Convinced that it was no trickery, the second man swallows, closes his eyes, and steps out into thin air. He promptly falls twelve stories to the pavement below.
The first man grins and returns to the bar. Looking rather irritated, the barkeep comes over to the place where the man sits.
"You know," he says, disgusted. "You're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
Friday, December 14, 2007
The Generous Lawyer
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."
Bear Chase
Two guys are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.
The second guy says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll jump down and make a run for it."
The second guy says, "Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear."
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.
The second guy says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll jump down and make a run for it."
The second guy says, "Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear."
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
The Three Wishes
Three friends were stranded on a desert island. After several weeks with no food and no drinking water, they were beginning to lose heart.
Suddenly, a bottle floated into the shore and a beautiful genie popped out. She said "I have three wishes to grant. Each of you gentleman can make one wish come true."
Friend number one got excited. He said "I wish I was in Las Vegas with dice in one hand and a drink in the other, surrounded by music, food, and beautiful women." Instantly he was gone, his wish granted.
Friend number two smiled and said, "I wish I was back home right now with my wonderful wife and our two small children, at our log cabin in the woods sitting in front of the fire and singing Christmas carols together." Just like that, he disappeared.
The genie asked the remaining man, "And what do you wish for?"
He answered, "Gee, I wish I had my buddies back to help me decide..."
Suddenly, a bottle floated into the shore and a beautiful genie popped out. She said "I have three wishes to grant. Each of you gentleman can make one wish come true."
Friend number one got excited. He said "I wish I was in Las Vegas with dice in one hand and a drink in the other, surrounded by music, food, and beautiful women." Instantly he was gone, his wish granted.
Friend number two smiled and said, "I wish I was back home right now with my wonderful wife and our two small children, at our log cabin in the woods sitting in front of the fire and singing Christmas carols together." Just like that, he disappeared.
The genie asked the remaining man, "And what do you wish for?"
He answered, "Gee, I wish I had my buddies back to help me decide..."
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Speeding Ticket
A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver's door.
"Is there a problem Officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."
The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
The policeman says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car."
The officer says, "Stole it?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what!?"
"She's in the boot if you want to see."
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"
The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem sir?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
"Murdered the owner?"
The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"
The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"
The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"
"Is there a problem Officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
The man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."
The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
The policeman says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car."
The officer says, "Stole it?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
At this point the officer is getting irate. "You what!?"
"She's in the boot if you want to see."
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
The senior officer says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"
The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem sir?"
"One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
"Murdered the owner?"
The officer responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"
The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
The officer says, "Is this your car sir?"
The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence."
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
The man replies, "I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!"
The Parrot
On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky you stupid cow."
The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets all about the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and squarks, "And get me another whisky you airhead."
Quite upset, the poor girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man tries the parrot's approach, "I've asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it now you stupid idiot."
Next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.
As they plunge downwards, the parrot turns to the man and says, "For someone who can't fly, you've sure got an attitude."
The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets all about the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and squarks, "And get me another whisky you airhead."
Quite upset, the poor girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.
Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man tries the parrot's approach, "I've asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it now you stupid idiot."
Next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.
As they plunge downwards, the parrot turns to the man and says, "For someone who can't fly, you've sure got an attitude."
Blonde Flying
On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to the coach section since she did not have a first class ticket.
The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving."
Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her.
He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving."
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this."
He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so."
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat.
The pilot replied, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York."
The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving."
Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her.
He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving."
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this."
He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't anyone just say so."
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat.
The pilot replied, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York."
Three Old Ladies
Three old ladies are sitting in a cafe, chatting about various things.
One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top
of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."
The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed,
and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!"
The third lady smiles smugly, "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on
wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"
One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top
of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."
The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed,
and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just woken up!"
The third lady smiles smugly, "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on
wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"
To a Cop
Here are 20 things that you should never say to a cop:
20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
18. Hey! Aren't you the guy from the village people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 MPH to keep up with me! Good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. No donut for you!
13. You're not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
11. Hey! Didn't I see you on 'Cops'?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they cannot get a job at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary, dammit!
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around. That's how far behind them I am!
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You're the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of heroin, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full body cavity searches?
The Drunk
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Drinks for all on me. That is including you, bartender."
The bartender follows the man's order and says, "That will be $42.50 please."
The drunk says he has no money, and the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night, the same drunk comes in and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including
the bartender.
Again, the bartender follows the drunk's instructions and the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for everyone except the bartender.
The bartender says, "What, no drink for me?"
"Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."
The bartender follows the man's order and says, "That will be $42.50 please."
The drunk says he has no money, and the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night, the same drunk comes in and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including
the bartender.
Again, the bartender follows the drunk's instructions and the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for everyone except the bartender.
The bartender says, "What, no drink for me?"
"Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."
Emotion Test
I got this tag from Garf today...thanks for tagging me dai..
Here are the rules:
Emotion test...DON'T CHEAT
Write your answers underneath the
question.
The answers are at the bottom, BUT
don't cheat.Then repost this for others to answer.
Emotions Test
1 .Which color is better red, black,green, blue, or yellow?* blue
2 . Your first initial?* A
3. What month were you born in??* March
4. Which color do you like more, blackor white?* White
5 .Name one of your friends?* Honey Nunez
6. Your favorite number?* 8
7 . Do you like flying or drivingmore?* driving
8 . Do you like a lake or the oceanmore?* lake
- - Answers-
1. if you chose:
red- you are alert and your life isfull of love.
black - you are conservative andaggressive.gr een - your soul isrelaxed and you are laid back.
blue- you are spontaneous and lovekisses and affection from the ones youlove and give good advice to those whoare down.
yellow - you are a very happy person..
2. if you're initial is:
a-k - you have a lot of love andfriendships in your life.
l-q - you try to enjoy your life to themaximum & your love life is soon toblossom.
r- z - you like to help others and yourfuture love life looks very good.
3. if you were born in:
jan-mar - the year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected d.
april-june - you will have a stronglove relationship that will lastforever.
july -sept - you will have a great yearand will experience a majorlife-changing experience for the good.
oct-dec - your love life will be great,and eventually you will find your soulmate.
4. if you chose:
black: your life will take on adifferent direction, it will seem hardat the times but will be the best thingfor you, and you will be glad for thechange.
white: you will have a friend whocompletely confides in you and would doanything for you, but you may notrealize it.
5. this person is your bestfriend.
6 . this is how many true friends youhave in your lifetime.
7. if you chose:flying - you like adventure.
driving- you are a laid back person.
8. if you chose:lake - you are loyal to your friendsand your lover and yourself are veryreserved and not emotional.ocean - you are spontaneous and liketo please people sometimes.
Here are the rules:
Emotion test...DON'T CHEAT
Write your answers underneath the
question.
The answers are at the bottom, BUT
don't cheat.Then repost this for others to answer.
Emotions Test
1 .Which color is better red, black,green, blue, or yellow?* blue
2 . Your first initial?* A
3. What month were you born in??* March
4. Which color do you like more, blackor white?* White
5 .Name one of your friends?* Honey Nunez
6. Your favorite number?* 8
7 . Do you like flying or drivingmore?* driving
8 . Do you like a lake or the oceanmore?* lake
- - Answers-
1. if you chose:
red- you are alert and your life isfull of love.
black - you are conservative andaggressive.gr een - your soul isrelaxed and you are laid back.
blue- you are spontaneous and lovekisses and affection from the ones youlove and give good advice to those whoare down.
yellow - you are a very happy person..
2. if you're initial is:
a-k - you have a lot of love andfriendships in your life.
l-q - you try to enjoy your life to themaximum & your love life is soon toblossom.
r- z - you like to help others and yourfuture love life looks very good.
3. if you were born in:
jan-mar - the year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected d.
april-june - you will have a stronglove relationship that will lastforever.
july -sept - you will have a great yearand will experience a majorlife-changing experience for the good.
oct-dec - your love life will be great,and eventually you will find your soulmate.
4. if you chose:
black: your life will take on adifferent direction, it will seem hardat the times but will be the best thingfor you, and you will be glad for thechange.
white: you will have a friend whocompletely confides in you and would doanything for you, but you may notrealize it.
5. this person is your bestfriend.
6 . this is how many true friends youhave in your lifetime.
7. if you chose:flying - you like adventure.
driving- you are a laid back person.
8. if you chose:lake - you are loyal to your friendsand your lover and yourself are veryreserved and not emotional.ocean - you are spontaneous and liketo please people sometimes.
Golfing with an older man
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."
Good Morning Everyone
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Welcome To My Other Blog
Yeah this is another blog of mine that will entertain you each day, give you some laugh during your sad days, we all have bad days and it's always nice to laugh. I will be posting different kind of jokes, and other daily thoughts of mine. See enjoy and relax and I will be adding more updates in here. Have fun and come back again....
Filipino We Belong Together
He really does feel the song hahahhahahhaha. Glad his not a singer though ahhahahhahahah. Enjoy everyone....
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